Solitaire
by California smells funny
Summary: Marauders' Era: Remus can't see a way forward in his game of solitaire, or in his emotions, until he receives a little help from Sirius... SBRL slash
1. Solitaire

**Solitaire**

_A/N: My first proper SBRL! Warning for the slashiness._

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Remus sat cross-legged on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, hunched over a tidy group of playing cards, laid out in a game of solitaire; its one player was clearly at an impasse.

He frowned at the cards, his eyes flicking back and forth across the arrangement. Then, at last, he sighed. "Padfoot, I'm stuck."

The boy he had addressed looked up from the magazine he was reading, slouched in an armchair a few yards away, and raised one eyebrow. "Of course you're stuck, Moony. I thought we'd already established that you're crap at solitaire." He smirked as he spoke, his expression making it clear that he was joking.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I mean it. It's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible," Sirius replied smartly, moving to join his friend on the floor. He bent forward to look more closely at the cards, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes.

Remus gazed at the back of his head, and contemplated what he had just said. _Nothing is impossible… _He didn't believe it, personally. If nothing was impossible, it would be easy to tell someone you loved how you felt about them. And it wasn't. He knew from experience.

Sirius was still staring at the cards, and turned his head slightly to look at his remaining options. Remus took the chance to have a subtle look at the taller boy's profile; he wanted so badly to reach out and touch the hand that Sirius had extended towards the cards, but he knew he couldn't. He mustn't.

Sirius exhaled through his teeth, running a hand through his untidy hair. "I think you might be right, Rem."

_See? Some things are impossible. _Remus felt disappointed, as if the single game of solitaire was an analogy for his life. He had reached stalemate. "You reckon?" _So that's it. I won't finish the game, and I won't ever tell you how I feel. _

"Yeah, I think… hang on." Sirius bit his lip and reached down to move a single card, flipping it onto another pile. "See, it worked after all."

Remus's face shifted into a reluctant smile. "Yeah, I guess it did." He glanced at the clock. "Aren't you meant to be meeting Emily about now?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nup. We, ah… finished."

"Oh." Remus wasn't sure what to say. "Sorry."

Sirius shrugged. "It was going to happen some time. We had some… issues that we couldn't really get rid of. _I _had some issues we couldn't get rid of."

Remus looked at his friend curiously. What issues? He blinked heavily and turned his attention back to the game, making his next move quickly; it was easy now. He couldn't think about that now. Just concentrate on the solitaire, finish the solitaire.

He finished the game about fifteen minutes later; he was a slow player, but he didn't really care. He hadn't really got much else to do, and it was a welcome distraction.

He shuffled the cards into a single pile, and wrapped an elastic band around them, before standing up.

It was about ten o'clock in the evening, and he and Sirius had been alone in the common room when he had hit the impasse. He had assumed that Sirius had gone up to the dormitory at some point since then, and he was surprised to find him asleep in the armchair behind him.

He stopped to watch the dark-haired boy. He looked so different when he was sleeping, so innocent and sweet. Unable to tear his eyes away, he sat carefully on the arm of the chair, then remaining perfectly still, barely breathing. He wanted so badly to touch him, to kiss him… But he mustn't. He had loved him since third year, three long years of torture.

Painfully, he fought back a tear. He should wake Sirius up and then go upstairs and sleep. At last, against his better judgement, he reached out one tentative hand and brushed a single strand of blue-black hair off Sirius's face. His heart stopped shortly after, as the sleeping boy grabbed his hand and held onto it. Was he still asleep?

Try as he did, he couldn't free his hand. Oh god, this was going to be embarrassing…

At last, Sirius's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Remus in surprise. "Rem! Um…" He blushed at the realisation that he was holding the other boy's hand, but didn't release it. "Did you finish that game?"

Remus knew an attempt at small talk when he saw it. "Yeah, I did, thanks for helping me." His voice trailed off as he started to notice the look in Sirius's eyes, a warm, slightly predatory expression that made him ever so slightly nervous.

There was complete silence for a moment or two. Then, slowly, Sirius began to inch closer, raising Remus's heart rate to several times its usual speed. He was on the verge of trembling as he felt the dark-haired boy's breath against his skin, and then lips brushed his own. It was the lightest of touches, just enough to inflame his senses as Sirius stayed there, unmoving, for several seconds, making sure it felt right. And it felt so right he could barely breathe.

After an endless, heart-stopping moment, Sirius moved back and squeezed the hand that he still held. "Wow." He blushed slightly. "I… I wasn't expecting that to happen." He let out a long, slow breath. "I never for a minute thought you'd let me do that."

Remus smiled. "If you hadn't done it, sooner or later I would have."

Sirius's eyes widened slightly. "Gods, Moony, you mean…"

"I love you," Remus said steadily. "I've loved you for years."

Sirius closed his eyes. "You don't know how long I've wished for you to say that. I love you too." He tugged on Remus's hand, drawing the smaller boy off the arm of the chair and onto his lap. Remus blushed furiously, and Sirius gave a wicked smile. "Are you scared, Rem?"

Remus ignored the teasing question and just waited. Sure enough, it was only a few seconds before a slender arm wrapped around his waist, and Sirius kissed him again. There was more to it this time, both boys drawn in by each other's tentative enthusiasm. Loath as he was to admit it, even to himself, Remus knew Sirius had been spot on; he was a little afraid. His own experience was virtually nonexistent, while he knew full well that Sirius had been with most girls in their year (and then some) and had an almost legendary reputation.

Experience began to make itself known shortly after, as Remus felt a sensation like a breath of silk on his closed lips, and shivered. Fear kept him from any stronger reaction, until wandering fingertips slipped briefly below the waistband of his jeans, making him gasp in surprise. Immediately a slim hand tilted his head back, and suddenly he was blown away by the feeling of a warm tongue in his mouth. Sirius had brought his other hand up and was now holding his head with both hands, kissing him with a power and strength that was positively incredible. The taller boy was dominating him completely, so he could do nothing but sit back and feel.

When oxygen became short, Sirius pulled back, still holding Remus's face in his hands. "God," he breathed.

Remus could barely breathe. Eventually, his silence and still expression began to worry Sirius. "What's wrong? Was it bad?"

"Not for me," Remus said at length. "I just… wow." He blushed. "I'm terrible at this, aren't I?"

"No!" Sirius answered swiftly. "You're perfect…" He gazed at the boy in his lap for a moment, before running one finger over Remus's lips. Remus flinched slightly, and Sirius went pale. "Did I hurt you?"

Remus didn't reply, just lowering his eyes, feeling so weak. Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry." He leaned in and pressed tiny kisses on Remus's swollen lips. "I'll be gentle, I promise." Slipping his arms around Remus's slim frame, he drew him close and just held him. "You said you've wanted me for years… I must have put you through so much pain in that time. I'm so sorry. It's you I want, it's always been you. I just never thought you'd feel the same. All this time I've been trying to forget about it; I thought maybe I could find the right girl, and I wouldn't love you any more. But I was wrong. There's never been anyone else."

To Remus's embarrassment, he found tears starting to wet his cheeks. He sniffed quietly, and Sirius let go to look at him. "Oh, Rem…" He placed a small kiss on his cheek, a sign of affection that made Remus's heart melt. This time, it was he who made the first move, finding Sirius's mouth and kissing him. True to his word, Sirius was perfectly gentle, surrendering control to the smaller boy.

It was a hesitant kiss, until at last Sirius was coaxed away from complete passivity, though he still gave ultimate control to Remus. At length, Remus gained the courage to slip one hand up under Sirius's shirt, feeling smooth, flawless skin under his palm. He felt a shiver go through Sirius, and slender fingers wove into his tawny hair. His nerve quickly ran out, and he kept his hand perfectly still.

Reassured by the response he had been getting, Sirius moved away from Remus's mouth and began to kiss along his jaw line and his neck. Feeling the small shivers of the warm skin under his lips, he whispered in Remus's ear: "There's something I don't get."

"Mm… and what's that, then?" Remus murmured back, fighting back a whimper as he felt sharp teeth nip his ear.

Sirius's voice was hesitant for the first part of his sentence. "You've got wolf blood in you… but you're so sweet and so gentle. I guess I just don't get how there's nothing wild in you." He paused. "Not that I'm criticising you; your sweetness was one of the things that made me fall for you."

Remus was silent for a moment, thinking. "Would you like me to be more 'wild'?" he asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Maybe…" Sirius answered, nipping at his ear again. "You might have to be. The dog often makes himself heard; it could be your best defence."

The brown-haired boy felt a shiver ripple through his whole body at the possible implications of this comment. He was inexperienced, but he wasn't stupid – especially when he felt Sirius bite gently at his neck and suck lightly at the skin. He knew it would leave a mark, and he knew that he was being claimed. This time he let out a quiet whimper. "Stop playing with me…"

Sirius drew back and looked at him earnestly. "I'm not playing with you, Rem. I'm deadly serious." His next words clinched it. "I want you."

Smiling slightly, Remus tangled his fingers into Sirius's mess of dark hair and kissed him hard, swivelling in the chair so that they were closer together. Sirius's nimble fingers undid his tie and shirt, throwing them aside and twisting round so that he had the smaller boy somewhat pinned. That didn't stop Remus divesting him of his own shirt.

That done, Remus's sense of disbelief escalated once again. Sirius had the body of a young god, and he was offering it to _him_? Then fingernails ghosted across his back, and he was distracted from these thoughts, looking up into Sirius's dark eyes, which were filled with heat and desire, making him go hot and cold all over.

Then Sirius spoke. "Do you know how _beautiful _you are?" he asked huskily, trailing a hand down Remus's bare arm. "I can't believe this is happening." A look of worry suddenly cloaked his eyes. "Am I going too fast?"

In the face of Sirius's doubt, Remus took control at last. "Will you stop worrying?" he said softly. "I'm all yours."

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_A/N: This could go on, though if it does the rating may well change. As always, review and I shall love you!_


	2. That Time of the Month

**That Time of the Month**

_A/N: Well, you requested more (thanks to all the reviewers!) so here is chapter 2. No longer just a oneshot!_

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"I'm all yours." The words echoed in Sirius's ears for a moment as he appreciated what Remus was really saying. He was unable to react for a second or two, simply holding Remus close.

At last, as their lips met again, Remus froze. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Sirius whispered, listening hard. Suddenly, his eyes widened in panic. "Shit! Someone's coming down the stairs!"

He leapt up, grabbing his shirt and an equally panicky-looking Remus, and dashed across the room to hide behind a sofa. It wasn't a moment too soon, as he peered round the end of the sofa and saw a fourth year girl emerge from the stairs to the girls' dormitories. She crossed the room, passing dangerously close to their hiding place, and picked something up from the floor. As she straightened up, Sirius could see that it was a quill. Damn it, why did she have to leave something in the common room? Why did she have to interrupt the stuff of his dreams?

Yawning widely, the girl took her time leaving the room. When, at last, Sirius heard the door at the top of the stairs close, he turned back to Remus. What he saw when he did this was both disappointing and painfully adorable. Remus had fallen asleep…

Behind his closed eyes, Remus was fully awake. In the frantic seconds before they slid out of sight, a realisation had hit him like a Muggle truck. What was he doing? He was letting someone in; he was letting his best friend risk himself.

He knew he was dangerous. He had never realistically hoped that anyone would love him, because who could love a werewolf? If he really cared for someone, he wouldn't want them to be at risk every month when he transformed. And he really did care for Sirius.

It wasn't just his own outlook on the matter that counted, too. He knew that after the honeymoon period wore off, Sirius would realise his mistake and end it, making things far too painful for Remus, and himself. So he was going to have to make the decision for both of them.

Sirius stared at Remus's relaxed features, admiring how sweet he looked asleep, before he noticed something. Remus looked different. Sirius knew exactly what he looked like asleep; he had been watching him for years. Right now, he didn't look right.

Oh. He wasn't asleep. Sirius felt his eyes sting suddenly; Remus was faking. _Why?_ Had he changed his mind already? He swallowed shakily and ran his hand over his burning eyes, suppressing his tears. The hell with this. He stood up slowly.

For a moment or two, he considered leaving Remus right there, and letting him fall asleep for real in that uncomfortable position behind the sofa. He abandoned the vindictive urge, however, and took his wand from his pocket, muttering a quick incantation to levitate the brown-haired boy. He then flicked the wand and directed Remus up the stairs, following. Upstairs, he deposited the 'sleeping' figure into bed, and retired to his own four-poster, changing quickly into his pyjamas and retreating behind the hangings.

Along the wall, Remus lay in bed, holding back tears behind his closed eyelids. He wished he didn't have to do this. But it was three days till the full moon.

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For the following three days, Remus avoided being alone with Sirius. With the others around, he acted normally, joking around with all three, chiding them for their pranks and generally keeping them on the straight and narrow.

For Sirius, every hour of evasion was like a stab to the heart. He couldn't believe how suddenly things had gone bad. He analysed every word he had said that night, every move he had made, every response he had received. The only conclusion he could reach was that he had said or done something wrong, or Remus had just had a moment of lunacy and had now realised it.

On the third day, after breakfast, Sirius had left his friends briefly, and hid himself in a bathroom on the second floor, near the Great Hall. He locked himself in a cubicle, sat down and buried his face in his hands. The pain was getting too much now. He couldn't hold it in any more; Remus wouldn't even look at him, and it hurt.

He felt his shoulders starting to quiver and his eyes starting to burn, and this time he did nothing to stop it. Even though he was a seventeen year old boy with the world at his feet, Sirius Black cried for love.

For several long minutes, the tears just kept coming, flooding down his face and leaving damp patches on the front of his robes. He was going to be late for Transfiguration, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, until he looked at his watch out of habit, and saw the moon-phase. The watch had been a Hogsmeade purchase, a bargain that he had fallen for at first sight. It showed the time, date and current phase of the moon; right now it was displaying an entire round orb – the full moon.

The full moon – of course! That could be why Remus was acting so oddly! Buoyed up by his new discovery, Sirius wiped his face, cast a drying spell on his robes, and left the bathroom in time for his next lesson.

Though it felt wrong, he managed to bear the cold shoulder all day. Soon the moon would change again, Remus would recover, and they could try again. He sat through the remainder of his lessons, not even trying to catch Remus's eye, awaiting the inevitable.

That night was another stab; at dusk, Remus asked Sirius, James and Peter if they minded staying in the castle for the night, and letting him transform on his own. Sirius wanted to shout out that no, it wasn't all right, he couldn't let Remus go through that alone… but he stayed silent. James answered for all three, promising to respect the werewolf's wishes.

All night, Sirius couldn't concentrate on anything. Whether he tried homework, reading, chess, Exploding Snap, anything, his mind kept drifting back to what Remus must be going through. He couldn't bear this, having to stay away while the one he loved was in pain and torment. In the end, he went to bed at about nine o' clock, lying awake well into the morning despite his tiredness; every time he closed his eyes he saw Remus.

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The morning after, Saturday, Remus woke in the Shrieking Shack, exhausted and with every muscle in his body aching. He hated the full moon. He hated what he was, as a wolf and now even as a human. He had seen the look on Sirius's face when he had started avoiding him; he had seen the shock and anger, and the pain. His heart had been ordering him the whole time to go back and apologise, accept Sirius's love, and be happy. But his head kept reminding him of the danger to both of them, and he had always been the only Marauder to always trust his head over his heart.

After a while, he tidied himself up and followed the passage back to the castle. He couldn't hide; he had to keep going.

---

Up to Monday lunchtime, Sirius kept up hope that things would work out. But now it was three days since the full moon. He had seen for himself that Remus was fully recovered, and now with every passing hour his hopes dwindled. Nonetheless, he was determined to hold out just a little longer.

He made it through the week, up to Quidditch practice on the following Saturday. His patience was at the end of its short leash; Remus had had eight days to fix things, eight days to recover from his transformation.

"Sirius!" A shout from across the pitch hit him at the same time as a Bludger. His eyes went blurry from the impact, and he barely saw James as he flew over. "Sirius, are you okay?"

He blinked hard, running a hand over his hair to make sure he wasn't bleeding. "Yeah, still alive." He faked a smile.

James frowned. "And what about before the Bludger hit you? You're a good player, usually. Why are you so out of it today?"

Sirius suddenly had an idea. If James was here above the pitch, and Peter was down in the stands watching them with his usual look of admiration, then Remus was probably alone in their dorm… He put a hand to his stomach with a pained expression. "Actually James, I've got a bit of a stomach ache."

James sighed. "Why didn't you say so, you prat? You can't play if you don't feel well."

He had taken the bait. "Should I go, then?"

James nodded. "Yeah, I think you'd better."

"Okay," Sirius feigned reluctance and flew to the ground, landing gently and walking off to the castle, holding his broom.

Five minutes later, he stepped into the dormitory and looked around for Remus. He wasn't there, but the bathroom door was shut and there was a book lying open on his bed.

The plan had worked. Sirius left his Cleansweep next to his trunk and sat down on Remus's bed, waiting.

Remus came out of the bathroom moments later, and seemed deceptively calm when he saw the black-haired boy there. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" he asked calmly, walking to the bed, slipping a bookmark into the opened book, and putting it on the table.

Sirius countered with another question. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

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_A/N: Review! You know you wanna... There is another chapter in progress..._


	3. No Monsters Here

**No Monsters Here**

_A/N: This one's been hovering in the wings since before I posted chapter 2, but I only finished it today. Enjoy! Warning: slash._

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"Why have you been avoiding me?" The plaintive pain in Sirius's voice took Remus by surprise.

"I…"

Sirius was looking right at him, his eyes dry but full of pain, his voice level. "At first I thought you'd changed your mind about us. But then on Friday I realised it was the full moon, so I attributed it to that. But it's been eight days." His voice cracked slightly. "It's been eight freaking days, Remus, and you won't even look at me! I don't get it! I thought you really… you said you loved me. Was that just a joke to you? Or just an experiment?" His voice rose now: "I wasn't just messing with you, Remus. Last Tuesday night meant something to me, it meant a lot actually. And now you've just turned on me, and I don't understand." He refused to cry. He could shout, get as angry as he wanted, but he wouldn't cry. No.

"You know, it's quite ironic if you think about it," Remus said softly, sitting down on the other end of the bed. "I mean, putting it down to the moon… it's like with girls. If they get tetchy, you can put it down to the time of the month." He gave a mirthless smile. "I guess it's the same for werewolves."

Sirius's anger was quickly deflating, and now he felt lost. He looked into Remus's eyes again, and suddenly the brown-haired boy hugged him. Unsure what to make of this, he asked quietly: "Does this mean 'I'm sorry, let's stay friends'?"

Remus sighed gently. "No, just 'I'm sorry'."

Sirius's heart sank. So he wasn't even going to salvage the friendship. He should have known that an attempt at a relationship would ruin everything…

Suddenly, a quiet voice interrupted his dread-laden thoughts. "Can you love a werewolf?"

Sirius broke the embrace and moved back to look Remus in the eye. "You could be the Devil himself and it wouldn't matter to me."

His heart turned over as he saw Remus's hazel eyes soften and warm. "Do you really mean that? What about the danger you'd be in every month? Could you trust me-" Sirius cut off his words by placing one finger over his lips.

"Of course I can trust you, Rem. I told you once, wasn't that enough? I love you, you fool."

Remus sniffed. "Damn you, you've got me all emotional again."

Sirius smiled. "Then I've got you right where I want you." He lifted his hand to stroke Remus's hair, trying to commit every soft shade of his skin to memory. The hazel eyes slid closed slowly, and a small smile spread over Remus's face. "I love you too," he murmured. "I'm sorry I messed up so bad."

"It doesn't matter," Sirius replied, and he meant it. It didn't matter any more. "Just don't ever do that to me again, okay? Don't shut me out… all I want to do is make you happy."

"You have." Remus opened his eyes again, looking solemn. "I promise I'll never do it again." He took hold of Sirius's hand. "God, I've missed you."

"I missed you too," Sirius whispered, squeezing his hand. "You know, you're lucky I don't give up easily, or else I'd probably have concussion by now, and we'd both still be miserable."

Remus looked at him quizzically. "Why would you have concussion?"

"Oh, I…" Sirius blushed slightly. "I just got hit by Bludgers a couple of times in practice. I was thinking about things, so I wasn't really looking out."

A look of worry flooded over Remus's face. "Did you get hit in the head? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really," Sirius insisted.

"Did you get hit in the head?"

"Yes, okay, I did, once."

Remus sighed. "Stop being heroic. You might have concussion already." He shuffled closer and took Sirius's head in both hands. "You've got a bump, you know."

"Have I?"

"Yes, you have," Remus said quietly, moving closer again, running his fingers gently over the side of Sirius's head. "Want me to kiss it better?"

Sirius didn't speak; the sensation of soothing fingers on his scalp verged on hypnotic.

Remus did it anyway, laying soft kisses on the raised area of skin.

A few seconds was all Sirius could take, before he reached up, caught Remus's slim wrists in his hands, and pinned him back against the head of the bed. Remus's eyes sparked with mischief. "That was a speedy recovery, Padfoot."

Sirius wasn't in the mood to play along. "Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Remus's gaze descended into burning heat and anticipation. "I'm not entirely sure, but I'm guessing it was good."

"You bet it was good," Sirius answered, his voice almost a purr. "I just can't decide where to go from here." He kept the smaller boy pinned with ease, lowering his face closer till they were almost touching. Slowly, deliberately, he brushed his lips against Remus's, pulling away after just a second. He watched the amber eyes fall from power into a pleading expression as he repeated the action, never ceding more than a second's contact. After watching Remus's facial descent into helplessness for several moments, he felt suddenly as if an invisible hand pushed him hard in the small of his back, sending him tumbling down to Remus's level. Forced down, it was difficult to keep control.

A wonderfully long moment later, he was able to pull back and look at the smaller boy's face. He was beautiful. His cheeks were the most delicate shade of pink, his eyes glowing, and his lips suggestively bruised. Right now they were forming into a sneaky smile. Suddenly Sirius had a brainwave as to what had just happened. "Moony, was that by any chance wandless magic?"

"Maybe…"

Sirius looked at him in surprised wonder. "I didn't know you could do that."

"Neither did I." Remus seemed shocked at his own ability. "I've never done it before." He let out a long breath and smiled. "I guess you bring out the best in me."

"Damn right," Sirius murmured, unable to take his eyes off of the face looking up at him. At the corner of his vision, he could see Remus's chest rising and falling softly with his breathing, his lips slightly parted. "You look…" He couldn't even finish his sentence. "God, Rem, I love you."

"I love you too," Remus whispered back, pulling himself up into a sitting position and rubbing his wrists to get the feeling back.

Sirius watched him, a frown creasing his forehead. "Did I hurt you?"

Still holding his right wrist, Remus gave an amused smile. "I can't help feeling we've been here before."

Sirius ran a hand over his dark hair and grinned. "Ah yes… if I remember correctly, I kissed it better last time."

Remus didn't speak; he just raised one eyebrow and held out his hand imperiously. Sirius took hold of it and kissed his wrist gently.

After a few moments, two things happened simultaneously. Remus had a realisation that made him bite his lip and go tense, and Sirius slid his sleeve up a little.

"Remus…" He stopped suddenly, still holding Remus's hand but now staring at the skin of his wrist. He blinked furiously to dispel the unexpected tears that had appeared at the sight of a new, ugly scar that started at the wrist and wound its way up Remus's arm. "Is this from last Friday?"

Remus nodded wordlessly, watching in fear for Sirius's reaction.

His reaction was, in the end, to push the sleeve up past Remus's elbow, at last reaching the other end of the scar. He ran his fingers along the raised skin, feeling the mutilated contours. "You heal quickly," he whispered at last; he didn't trust himself to say any more.

"It's a part of what I am," Remus replied. "Monsters always heal fast."

Suddenly, he felt himself pressed up against the head of the bed again. Sirius was looking straight at him with an expression of anger similar to the time that James had bewitched the shampoo to turn Sirius's hair pink. "Don't you _ever_ say that again," he growled.

"Say what?"

"You're not a monster," Sirius's voice had softened. "You're not," he repeated. "You're sweet, and beautiful, and perfect." He slowly brushed his fingertips down the side of Remus's face, looking into his eyes in quiet appeal.

Remus turned his head away. "I _am_ a monster, Sirius. Look at this scar; look at all my other scars. I did it. All of it. When there's a full moon I'll hurt anyone who comes near me. How can I not be a monster?"

Sirius slid his hand under Remus's jaw and turned his face back round so their eyes met again. "I can't judge you on something that happens once a month without you ever asking for it. Yes, I'll admit that on the full moon, you're dangerous. But you never asked for any of it. And how can I trust what I see then when I spend the rest of the month seeing the real you? The real you is sweet, and kind, and funny, and loving… and I love you. You're not a monster; you're not even close. Please don't say that you are."

Remus blinked resolutely back at him. Then he lowered his eyes. "Sorry," he whispered.

Sirius sighed. "It's not your fault, angel. None of it's your fault." He put his arms around the smaller boy and hugged him tightly. "_I'm _sorry I got mad. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's okay," Remus murmured, enjoying the sensation of Sirius's hands drawing small circles on his back. At length, he wrapped his own arms around Sirius's body and nuzzled into his neck. "Do you think we'll ever get past this stuff?"

Sirius let him go and sat back, frowning in thought. "I don't know. I hope so."

"Me too."

There was a brief silence, almost awkward until Remus reached out with one hand. Sirius moved to sit next to him, holding his hand. After a while, the dark-haired boy raised one hand to stroke Remus's cheek, tracing patterns over the skin and staring into his eyes.

Remus's lips curled into a slight smile. "Ever the romantic cliché…"

Sirius mirrored his expression with a hint of a challenge. "Excuse me?" Receiving no answer, he slipped his fingers under Remus's chin again and drew him closer. "Was that a criticism of my moves, dear Moony?"

"Maybe," Remus answered, managing – to his surprise – to remain completely calm.

Sirius shook his head slightly. "I can see I'll have to teach you better than that." He leaned in and dropped a light kiss on Remus's lips, taking his chance to be the tease again.

But this time, Remus wasn't having it. As Sirius drew back to smile wickedly, he felt the same force as before, knocking him down onto his back. Remus sat looking down at him. "This wandless magic thing is great, isn't it?" he asked casually, smiling at Sirius's look of surprise. "I wonder what else I can do with it." He concentrated for a moment or two, and the hangings on the bed whisked shut, leaving the two of them shut off from the rest of the world. "How useful," he commented, before leaning down and settling himself half across Sirius. "You look so pretty when you're surprised," he whispered in his ear, and kissed him.

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_A/N: Chapter 4 is already in progress, and there may be some seasonal Xmas / New Year things up soon. Review!_


	4. Take Out The Seeker

**Take Out The Seeker**

_A/N: This one's taken a while. I'm having a major self-confidence crisis at the moment, re-reading stuff and just hating it! In light of a review I got, who thinks they're too emotional for boys? Just so I know._

_---_

"You look so pretty when you're surprised." Sirius had no time to dwell on the compliment, as Remus's lips descended on his, blocking out all conscious thought. How could someone have this much power over him? Though Sirius usually seemed to hold control of the physical situation between them, he knew that the emotional power lay with Remus. Remus could tell him to do anything, and he would do it. He was that smitten. And now, with the sudden appearance of the wandless magic, Remus's control reached beyond just emotional, as Sirius had just found out.

He wondered if Remus realised the actual intimacy of their current position; the smaller boy was virtually spread-eagled across him as they kissed. As he had been taken by surprise, Sirius was flat on his back, arms a little way out from his sides, being pretty much the passive one. Slowly, he moved his hands up behind Remus's head, lightly running his fingers through the waves of tawny hair.

Despite all the girls he had been out with, he had never been kissed like this. Then again, he'd never been in love with any of them. Remus was the first person he had ever kissed and really meant it.

At length, Remus pulled away and sat up slightly, smiling at him.

Suddenly, Sirius cursed under his breath. In response to the questioning look he received, he explained with an annoyed attempt at a smile: "I need the bathroom."

Remus shook his head, smiling. "Nice timing…" He rolled off of Sirius and let him get up, whisking the hangings open again. "Sure that wasn't just an excuse to get out of the position where I was in control for once?"

Sirius laughed as he headed for the bathroom. "You wish."

When he came out of the bathroom shortly after, he found Remus stood on tiptoe, fixing a broken ring on the top of the hangings, at the point where they met the wall. Silently, he crept closer until he was right behind him. Then he swiftly caught Remus's arm and turned him round at the same time as pushing him up against the wall. Suddenly trapped, Remus gave a resigned smile. "Looks like you're back in control. I –" His words were abruptly cut off as Sirius kissed him again, sliding a hand behind his head to pull him even closer. He quickly draped his own arms around the taller boy's neck as the kiss deepened into a desperate battle for power, where it didn't matter who won.

Abandoning all conscious thought once more, Sirius gave himself over to the primal instinct to push Remus against the wall and kiss him until he forgot his own name. He hadn't planned for the tidal wave of feeling he was experiencing himself; he couldn't stand even an inch of space between them, and the way they fitted together made him tremble inside. His heart nearly forgot how to beat as Remus's body pressed against his. They couldn't go on doing this; soon things would go too far.

At last he ran out of air and pulled back, breathing fast. "I… I think we should stop."

"Why?" Remus's voice was husky, his face was adorably flushed, and his body was still pressed against Sirius's in a way that was certifiably 'inappropriate'. For a moment, he looked far less innocent than before.

His question made Sirius think. Why should they stop? It wasn't like it felt wrong. But still, he had to make a concerted effort to explain. "I just don't want this to turn into something we might regret later." There, that was pretty much it.

"Sirius…" Remus lifted one hand to cradle Sirius's chin. "You're worrying too much. Does this feel wrong?" He paused for a moment or two, gathering himself enough to get his next words out. "Would it feel wrong if we went further? If we…" he trailed off, blushing. "I love you."

"I know." Sirius lowered his eyes. "I love you too, it's just… I don't want it to be like…" He struggled for a way to finish his sentence. At last he raised his gaze again. "I don't want it to be like I'm taking advantage of you or anything."

Remus frowned. "Why would it be like you're… oh." His eyes were wide and looked like they had been drained of some of their vitality. He didn't pull away, which somehow made Sirius feel worse. "You've… before."

"Yeah," Sirius said softly, hating himself. "Twice, last year."

Remus let out a quiet sigh that almost broke Sirius's heart. "I'm so sorry; I'm totally overreacting… you're not a monk, and you said yourself that you didn't think I'd ever want to be with you…"

Sirius swallowed. "You're not overreacting… it's my fault."

"No." Remus looked at him with the expression that he assumed when he took control. "No. It's not. It's not like you took a vow of chastity or anything; you're only human."

"I guess you haven't then."

Looking completely solemn, Remus shook his head. "No, I haven't. I guess I've just never been in that kind of relationship before."

Suddenly, Sirius was hit by the full weight of his meaning. "So you'd… want me as your first time?"

"Of course," Remus whispered. "If you'd have me."

Sirius's heart melted. "Of course I'd have you! I just don't know if… if we're ready. I want it to really mean something."

The smile that appeared on Remus's face was soft, tentative and almost sad. "It's you. How could it not? Just being with you is special."

"I… I still don't know."

Remus smiled more strongly. "Who would have thought it? You being unsure and me being the one to try and persuade you."

"Yeah." Sirius managed to smile back. "The others should be back soon… so we should really finish this conversation another time…"

"It's okay," Remus answered, reaching out to stroke his dark hair. "There's no rush." He leaned in and pressed a single chaste kiss to Sirius's lips. "It's so inconvenient that James and Peter have to come back."

"I know…" Sirius smiled. "But you know how to do a silencing and approaching charm, right?"

Remus flashed him a mischievous smirk. "That I do."

Sirius winked demonically. "Your place or mine?"

"Patience, _cariño_," Remus raised his eyebrows admonishingly. "You've got a match tomorrow; you need your sleep tonight. How about another night? After the others are asleep; it'd just be too weird otherwise."

"Why don't we just nick the map and Prongs' cloak, and go to the Room of Requirement?"

Leaning back against the wall, Remus smiled slowly. "I like it. It's simple, but effective."

Sirius nodded approvingly. "My thoughts exactly. And by the way, what did you just call me?"

"What, _cariño_?"

"Yeah, that."

Remus's eyes sparkled. "It means darling."

Sirius nearly went for him again, and probably would have done had the reappearance of James and Peter not been imminent.

The thought clearly occurred to Remus as well. "What did you say to James to get out of practice?"

Sirius cast his mind back to what felt like an age ago. "I said I had a stomach ache."

"Okay." Remus took control again. "You'd better make it convincing. Go and lie down." After watching Sirius obey, he sat down on his own bed and picked up his book again. "Good boy," he added teasingly.

Their timing turned out to be pretty accurate, as it was only a few minutes before Peter and James tumbled through the door, grinning like idiots. Remus looked up and immediately burst out laughing. "What the hell happened to you?" he asked through his veil of mirth.

James was covered in mud, but didn't stop smiling. "I only went and cracked the Wronski Feint! I hit the ground about six times – hence the mud – but now I can do it! We're going to beat the Slytherins stupid tomorrow." He bent down to take off his boots, glancing over at Sirius. "How's the stomach ache?"

Sirius propped himself up on his elbows with a melodramatic groan. "It's not too bad."

James nodded, flinging his boots in the direction of his trunk as he straightened up. "You going to be okay to play tomorrow?"

Sirius grinned. "You mean to watch you propel yourself into the ground at high velocity? I wouldn't miss it for the world."

James looked quite aggrieved at the lack of anything heavy to throw at him. Sirius, meanwhile, picked up his copy of the _Beater's Bible _and started flicking through it.

---

"And Slytherin score! It's sixty all!" The voice of some obscure student blared out across the stadium, raising cheers and boos from the crowd. It was about two hours into Sunday's match, play was getting dirty, and there was no sign of the Snitch. When James had flown past the stands a minute or two before, Remus and Peter had been close enough to see his sour expression; he was bored.

The Quaffle returned to the middle of the pitch, and the teams started scowling at each other with renewed vigour. Remus wasn't really paying much attention to the Chasers anyway; he was too busy watching Sirius. Watching him had always been the main activity that prevented Quidditch from being boring. The way he looked around attentively for the Bludgers, the way he flew so gracefully, the way he swung at a Bludger… and the Bludger flew… and hit the Slytherin Seeker neatly in the head, knocking him the mercifully short distance from his broom to the ground. He was out cold, and after several minutes where various members of staff tried to revive him, efforts were at last ceased, and he was carried off to the Hospital Wing.

When the Snitch finally appeared ten minutes later, there was no contest; within moments it was wriggling in the gloved hand of James, who looked distinctly peeved at the lack of an opportunity to use his new (somewhat risky) skill.

He looked even more annoyed when the party picked up in the Gryffindor common room a few hours later, and he quickly discovered that Sirius was the hero of the hour.

The boy in question was mingling with hordes of adoring Gryffindors, extolling the virtues of Scrimgeour's _Beater's Bible _("Well it's the top tip really; 'take out the Seeker'."). At last, he shook off a fifth year girl who looked like she was about to swoon, and made his way to the sofa in the corner where Remus was drinking a Butterbeer and watching in amusement.

As Sirius flopped down beside him, he held out an unopened bottle, which Sirius took. "How are your fans?"

"Wonderful." Sirius grinned. "They can't get enough of me. And who could blame them? I'm pretty great myself." He smiled to show he was joking, before uncorking the bottle and taking a sip. "Where's Jamie?"

"Upstairs," Remus replied. "He got in a bit of a snit about everyone ignoring him. Peter's up there trying to fix his bruised ego."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He should be down here; I'm sure he'd find someone to listen to him. There's only so much people can take of Beater tactics."

"True." Frowning, Remus leaned over towards him. "Siri, are you wearing makeup?"

The dark-haired boy coloured up slightly. "Yeah, eyeliner. Are you going to give me the whole 'makeup is for girls' spiel?"

Remus shook his head. "Nope. I was just going to say it looks good on you." He smirked and took another sip of his drink.

---

_A/N: Sorry, I have a mental picture of Sirius in eyeliner... yummy emo boy... hehe. Warning you now, I'm probably going to change the summary of this fic soon, to make it more up to date. I'm just saying that so no one gets thrown by it._


	5. Foreshadowing by Name

**Foreshadowing by Name**

_A/N: It's been a while, so I've had a dynamic writing afternoon. Proud of me? No matter how big the gaps get in my updates, I'm not giving up. I love writing this fic._

_---_

"Nope. I was just going to say it looks good on you." Remus's comment was somewhat unexpected; Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"You have _got _to stop saying stuff like that," he said quietly.

"Yeah?" Remus reached over to put the bottle on the table. "Why's that?"

Sirius edged closer to him and answered suggestively: "Because it makes me want to spirit you off somewhere, but the dormitory has people in it right now."

Flashing him a smile, Remus shrugged. "Big deal; we can get James and Peter back down here like _that _if we do it right. Just tell James that you heard Lily talking about him or something."

"You're good…" Sirius was impressed. "Where did you get that devious mind, Moony?"

Remus grinned. "Hey, I've been best friends with you for five and a half years, right?"

"Oh gods, I've corrupted you, haven't I?" Sirius asked in mock horror. "I'm so sorry, innocent child…"

With an exasperated sigh, Remus batted him round the head. "Do you ever stop the melodramatics, Pads?"

Sirius deliberately widened his eyes, waiting for Remus to get his meaning.

"Oh." Remus had got it. "Apart from when… apart from that."

He shook his head. "Apart from _that, _I guess not. Now are we going to gently evacuate our bestest buddies or not?" Standing up, he grabbed Remus's hand and made a break for the stairs, ignoring all the looks of adoration he received from various girls on the way.

On reaching the sixth year dorm, Remus swung open the door and, dropping Sirius's hand, went in. "Hey guys."

James made a noncommittal noise without looking up. He was sitting on his bed; Peter was on the floor a few yards away, his face still set in the sycophantic expression he had been using as he tried to cheer James up.

Sirius flumped down on his bed, which was next to James's. "So what's up?"

James looked up to glare at him. "What do you think? You knocked the other Seeker out! I got the Snitch by default, and you knew how hard I'd been working on the Wronski Feint."

Sirius adopted a look of deep regret. "You know I wouldn't ever undermine you deliberately, Prongs. I didn't mean to knock him unconscious; I swear. It was a complete accident." He ran a hand over his immaculate hair, trying to look bored. "I think they're getting a bit sick of me downstairs; I'm pretty sure I heard Evans say a while ago that it's not fair that I'm the hero when it was you who got the Snitch."

Sure enough, James's eyes lit up, and he looked over to Remus for confirmation. "Really?"

Remus nodded sincerely. "Yeah, they're all losing interest in Sirius's story now. You should go down; I bet they'd love to talk to you."

James pondered for a moment. "Yeah, I think I will. Thanks, guys." He stood up and headed for the door. "You coming, Wormtail?" Peter jumped up (well, as much as he could jump) and followed him.

Once the door had slammed shut, Remus, leaning against the end of James's bed, grinned over at Sirius. "I told you that'd work."

Sirius shrugged. "I never disputed it. Nice master plan."

Yawning, Remus slowly walked over and sat down next to him, not quite touching. "Thanks." He looked up slightly at Sirius's face. "You know, that really does look great on you."

A smile spread over Sirius's features. "Oh yes, I remember why I brought you up here now…" He moved a little closer and placed a hand on Remus's arm, then stopped suddenly. "If I pin you down or anything, you'll just use wandless magic on me again, won't you?"

Remus frowned slightly. "I don't know… um, can I say something, before we… do anything?"

"Yeah, shoot." Sirius turned to look at him properly. "What's up?"

Unconsciously, Remus started to fidget, until Sirius took hold of his hand and held on to it firmly. Biting his lip, he at last spoke. "It's about… about my… condition."

Sirius sighed. "I thought we'd been over this, Rem. It doesn't matter to me."

"No, it's not that." Remus swallowed. "It's just something I forgot to mention before. It's something that might interfere with our relationship if we do… you know."

Sirius's heart rate had begun to pick up with worry. "What is it?"

"It's just that… I don't know, you might have read this somewhere before, but I want to make sure you know about it. Um, it's just that werewolves –" the word felt awkward on his tongue "– always mate for life. So if you were my first, then you'd be my last as well, and everything in between. It's just it's a pretty big commitment, and I wanted to make sure you knew." He looked away, a weight seemingly lifted from his shoulders.

There was silence for a moment, until Sirius put an arm around him and murmured close to his ear: "I already knew that. It's okay." Feeling Remus relax against him, he moved his other arm to turn the smaller boy around to face him. "You shouldn't have got so worried. It's not just about me, you know. This affects you more. How do you know I'm the right person?"

"I don't know," Remus whispered. "I can't justify it in any other way than to say I'd rather be with you than with anyone else in the world, and it feels so right to be with you." He gave a small smile. "Oh yeah, and I love you."

Smiling back, Sirius pulled him close and hugged him. "You're so amazing; did you know that?" He dropped a kiss in Remus's hair. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Absolutely everything," Remus mumbled in reply, his words muffled against Sirius's chest. "You've been my friend for years, stood up for me, supported me, cared about me, and you've even become an animagus for me. That's pretty special."

Sirius sighed. "Maybe you're right. I still can't believe I got quite so lucky."

Remus pulled out of the hug to look at him reprovingly. "Sirius, are you getting mushy on me?"

He was answered by a smirk that was much more Sirius. "I'm back to normal now, I promise."

"You'd better be." He slipped an arm round Sirius's waist. "I was starting to think you'd forgotten why we came up here – again."

Sirius shook his head resolutely. "Good heavens, no." He shifted his weight quickly, pushing Remus down onto the bed. This time, he showed no sign of annoyance at being the submissive, just laughing.

"You're getting too good at this, Pads."

"That's as may be. But you know you love it." Smirking, Sirius braced his hands at either side of Remus's head. "Promise not to magic me this time. If it was unintentional before, that must mean it's raw magic, in which case you're at risk of blowing me up or turning me into a chicken or something."

Remus broke into laughter. "Okay, I promise. But… not to ruin the moment or anything, but anyone could walk in; we haven't put wards up."

Sirius just smiled, raised his wand and directed a locking spell at the door. "There. The unlocking charm's too complicated for Peter or James to work out without making enough noise to alert the whole tower to what they're doing."

"What about your fans?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, dropping his wand onto the bedside table. "If James can't crack it, I'm certain none of them can."

"You're sure he doesn't know the counter-charm?"

"Positive." Sirius dropped his hand back onto the quilt. "Now are we going to get on with this or not?"

Remus bit back another laugh. "You're so romantic."

"I know." Still smiling, he lifted one hand to touch Remus's cheek. He was just leaning down to kiss the smaller boy when something heavy landed on his head, knocking him off the bed. "Remus! I thought I told you not magic me this time!"

Remus sat up, frowning. "I didn't."

"You didn't?" Sirius rolled over to see what was responsible for putting him on the floor, and promptly screamed as a set of claws dug into his face and showed no signs of letting go.

Jumping to his feet, Remus grabbed his wand and aimed it at Sirius's attacker. "Remotum!"

The claws left the dark-haired boy's face, and he put one hand up to his cheek. "Moony, I'm bleeding!" He stared at his fingers in shock.

Remus sighed. "Enough with the melodramatics already. At least we've got the culprit." He held up a ball of white fluff, which Sirius glared at viciously. Suddenly, he stood up, took the fluffball from Remus's hand, and headed out of the dormitory.

Seconds later, he slammed dramatically into the common room with Remus two steps behind him. He held up the fluffball and glared at a certain redhead. "Evans, your bloody cat attacked me!"

"Bellona!" Lily came running over and gently took the cat, shooting Sirius a nasty look. "You must have provoked her."

"Oh great," Sirius muttered to Remus, his voice barely a whisper. "It's a homophobic cat…" He turned back to Lily. "I damn well did not; it just mauled me. I mean, for god's sake, you named it after a war goddess, don't you think that foreshadowed its personality slightly?"

Lily just glared at him. "My cat does not maul people, Black. Even you." She stroked Bellona's head and the cat purred angelically.

"Just keep it the hell out of our dormitory, okay?" Sirius snapped. "Or else people might start to think you're using it to spy on James."

Lily's face reddened slightly, making a shocking contrast with her hair. "Rest assured, Black, neither my cat nor I have any intentions of coming near you again." Nose in the air, she turned and disappeared up the girls' staircase.

Remus turned to his bleeding boyfriend. "Do you want to go to the hospital wing?"

"No, we've put to many prank-victims in there; Pomfrey hates me and James. And she'd laugh when I said a cat did it."

Remus sighed. "Alright, fine. Come on." He grabbed Sirius's sleeve and led him back up the stairs to the dorm. When they arrived, he gestured for Sirius to sit down, and started to look at his face. "Does it hurt much?"

"Stings," Sirius answered. It looked like his pride was a little injured too.

"Okay." Remus flicked his wand to produce a pad of wet cotton wool, and started wiping up the blood with it, ignoring Sirius's wincing. "It's just a few claw holes. Do you want me to glamour it? I can't heal it, so that's the best I can do."

Sirius smiled appealingly. "Would you do that?"

The smile was enough to win Remus over. "Yeah, sure. Hold still." He waved his wand in a square in front of Sirius's now clean face, and muttered a few words. The holes in the skin disappeared. "You're done."

"Thanks, Moony." Sirius jumped up and went over to the mirror on the wall. "Wow, it looks completely normal!" He put one hand up to his face and touched where the holes had been. "It's still there, though."

Remus walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder. "Sorry Pads, all I know how to do is disguise it." He smiled. "But you look handsome as ever."

"You old romantic," Sirius smiled back at him. "Shame that stupid cat ruined the mood."

"Yeah." Remus put his arms around the taller boy's waist. "But there'll be other nights."

Sirius rested his hands over Remus's. "And other mornings, and afternoons… plenty of them."

Leaning his head on the dark-haired boy's shoulder for a moment, Remus sighed. It was a happy sigh. "Shall we go back downstairs?"

"Let's." Sirius turned around and looked closely at him for a second or two. "But first, I want to see whether eyeliner suits you too."

---

_A/N: What did you think? Who liked Bellona? Hehe… Review, please. Love you all. _


	6. Cosmetic

**Cosmetic**

_A/N: I've already mustered a chapter on A Silver Locket this afternoon, so I'm trying to do this as well. _

_---_

"But first, I want to see whether eyeliner suits you too." Sirius had a demonic glint in his eye as he said that, which didn't exactly fill Remus with confidence.

He started to back away. "Oh no you don't."

"Moony…" The familiar hint of a whine appeared in Sirius's voice. "You'd look so pretty… you said you liked it on me…"

"You and I are very different," Remus replied, carefully making sure he didn't get blocked off from the door.

"How so?" Sirius was advancing slowly, undeterred. Decisive action was now needed.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah, tell me."

The gap between them was getting a little too small. It was now or never. "I can run faster than you can," Remus said quickly, and ran out of the door.

Sirius was stalled for a moment by surprise, but rapidly recovered and dashed out after him. "You can run, Moony, but I'll catch you!"

"Not if I can help it!" Remus yelled over his shoulder as he jumped through the portrait hole and hit the floor sprinting. No way was Sirius going to get him to wear eyeliner without a fight. Besides, this was fun.

Five minutes later, they were halfway across the school, and Sirius still hadn't caught up. It was getting close to curfew, but neither of them noticed or particularly cared. On his way out, Sirius had picked up the map (as well as an eyeliner pencil), and he was expert at hiding. Remus could always just give the excuse of being a prefect. So all was well.

They were nearing the Great Hall when Remus stepped off a staircase just before it moved, leaving Sirius stranded at the bottom. Watching the look of consternation on the boy's face, Remus started laughing. Then he walked forward and leaned on the rail, looking back down the empty space where the stairs had been.

Sadly, while he stood happily surveying the architecture, Sirius had found an alternative way up to the landing. Subsequently, Remus was just beginning to wonder where Sirius was when he was suddenly seized from behind and jumped about a foot in the air.

Sirius grinned. "You might be able to run faster than me, Remmie, but I'll always catch you in the end."

Remus twisted round to face him with a look of defeat. "Damn."

"I win," Sirius said happily. "And you know what that means." Picking up his wand, he threw a quick 'Petrificus partis' at Remus and pulled the eyeliner out of his pocket. "I would say keep still, but you don't really have much choice."

He was right; the spell had left Remus unable to move most of his body. His mouth, though, was relatively unaffected, and he didn't pass up the chance to protest. "Pads, you're not doing this."

"Yes I am."

"Get off me."

"No."

"If you don't stop _now _I'll…"

"Ooh, punishment," Sirius said with a flash of the demonic smile again, and Remus gave up.

For a moment, there was silence as Sirius worked away with the pencil. Then he stopped and smiled more broadly. "I told you you'd look good."

Remus sighed. "Okay, you win. Now take it off."

Sirius shook his head resolutely. "Not until you've seen it. There'd be no point if I took it off now."

"Alright, fine." Remus tried to move before realising the spell was still in place. "At least un-petrify me."

"Oh yeah, sorry." Sheepishly, Sirius cast the counter-charm and reached out his hand. "Let's go."

Remus took the offered hand but let go when they got within a hundred metres of Gryffindor Tower. He saw the hint of sadness that flitted across Sirius's face when he did it, and he understood. Maybe secrecy was another thing they'd have to talk about.

He kept his head down as they crossed the common room, and went over to the mirror as soon as they entered the dorm. Against his will, he had to admit that he liked the effect.

"It looks so good on you," Sirius remarked, resting his chin on top of Remus's head as he stood behind the smaller boy. "It really brings out the colour of your eyes." He smiled as they made eye contact in the mirror. "I don't get how there can be so many different colours in one place, you know. I mean, look." He extended his finger to point at Remus's eyes in the reflective surface. "You've got green, brown, grey, and that bit even looks like blue."

Remus laughed. "I thought dogs were supposed to be colour-blind."

"Yeah, and stags are supposed to be noble, but look at Prongs," Sirius answered.

"Always with the smart reply," Remus said, turning round with a smile and looking up at Sirius. "Did I ever tell you how nice _your_ eyes are?"

"No, I don't believe you did." Sirius slid his arms around Remus's waist. "Why don't you have a go now?"

"Okay, I will." Remus watched his eyes for a few seconds before he spoke. "They're so dark."

Sirius cut in. "You know, that's not actually all that good."

Remus swatted him on the arm. "Shhh. Let me finish. They're really dark, but when you laugh they go all bright. And when you're happy they go twinkly just… there." He reached up to point to the corner of one of Sirius's eyes. "They're the nicest blue I've ever seen."

"Okay." Sirius smiled at him. "That _was_ good." He was just leaning in to kiss Remus when the door swung open and hit the wall with a thud. They quickly sprang apart and tried to look innocent.

"Hey guys." It was James, with Peter just behind him. "Where did you disappear to earlier?"

Remus grinned as he sat down on his bed. "Sirius was trying to put eyeliner on me, so I ran."

James nodded appreciatively. "Smart move, Moony." Frowning, he walked over and looked closely at Remus. "Looks like he got you, though."

"Yeah, he did." Remus shot a fake glare at Sirius. "I'll get him for that." He stifled a laugh at the raised-eyebrow look Sirius gave him in response to that statement.

"Uh-oh, better watch my back…" Sirius walked over to his trunk and put the eyeliner pencil away. "I take it the party's pretty much over, then?"

"Yeah," James said, sitting down. "It got a bit boring after Evans disappeared off upstairs, anyway, with that cat…" He suddenly did a minor double-take as he looked over at Sirius. "I thought the cat scratched your face; how come I can't see it?"

"I glamoured it for him," Remus answered for Sirius, picking up his pyjamas and going into the bathroom.

He was about to close the door when Sirius hit it at great velocity, with the words: "Moony, wait! You didn't tell me how long it lasts!"

Remus poked his head around the door and rolled his eyes at James and Peter. "I'm guessing you guys don't want to hear the finer points of Sirius's obsession with his skin looking perfect?"

They both shook their heads with conviction. Remus half-smiled. "Looks like I'm stuck with it myself, then." He shut the door behind himself as he went back into the bathroom to find Sirius leaning against the basin. Reading the look on the animagus' face, he turned back to lock the door and cast a silencing spell on the room.

Sirius grinned at him. "What do you think of my excuse?"

"Flawless," Remus smiled back, stepping forward into Sirius's arms. "It's wonderfully convincing, and it gets rid of both of them for indefinite time."

"That was my plan," Sirius said, holding him close. "I hate how James keeps coming in at awkward moments."

"They don't have to be awkward," Remus said softly, deciding to broach the subject. "Well not _as_ awkward, anyway."

Sirius moved back slightly to look him in the eye. "You mean we could tell them?"

Remus shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I've heard about other students being gay, and not getting lynched. Hogwarts is pretty good when it comes to that kind of thing." Thinking about it, he quickly added: "Not that I mean we should tell everyone about it just yet. But maybe James and Peter should know soon."

"I guess you're right," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Remus, do you think I have a bizarre sense of humour?"

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I think you ask random questions sometimes. How is this relevant?"

"Answer the question."

"Yes, I do think you have a bizarre sense of humour, but most of the time it's actually quite funny – well, so long as it's legal. Why?"

Sirius shuffled for a second or two, wondering whether to make the suggestion. "Do you think we could just let them work it out for themselves?"

Remus considered it briefly. "That does have potential. Perhaps we should leave them clues of some sort?"

"I hadn't thought of that," Sirius said. "But I like it." He paused, biting his lip. "Do you think they'll be okay with it?"

"I don't know. I hope so." Remus frowned momentarily. "Surely we can find out?"

"How?"

"Oh, you know, mention people that are out, see how they react to it."

Sirius smiled, moving closer again. "You're a very smart young man, you know that?"

"I think you may have told me once or twice. Mostly when you want my help with homework, but yes, I believe you've mentioned it."

Sirius laughed, and nearly got poked in the eye as Remus pointed to it. "There's the twinkle."

"Really?"

"Yep. It looks really cute."

"Why thank you," Sirius smiled, tightening his arms around Remus's waist. "Flattery, as they say, will get you anywhere."

Remus smirked and stretched up to whisper in his ear. "No need. I'm already where I want to be." With that, he slipped an arm around Sirius's neck and pulled him into a kiss. For once it was Sirius who was pinned, and of his own volition at that. Remus planned to make the most of that.

The sensation of cold enamel at his back barely reached Sirius's brain; his concentration was devoted to the boy in front of him. His senses filled with the scent of warmth and chocolate that announced Remus, the sensation of silky hair brushing his forehead, and the taste of Butterbeer and pure happiness. He didn't think he'd ever stop feeling lucky.

When they drew apart at last, Sirius reached up to brush Remus's hair out of his eyes. "This is getting long."

"Not as much as yours," Remus murmured, smiling. "There are girls that want hair like yours."

"Tough, they're not having it."

Remus laughed softly, leaning back in to kiss Sirius on the tip of his nose. "I like it where it is," he agreed, before kissing him again. This time it was his turn to be in control, and he opted to use it, nibbling on Sirius's lower lip before trailing kisses down his jaw to his neck. There he bit down gently, leaving his mark.

At length, he moved back and watched Sirius's face. Slowly, the closed eyes fluttered open, and blue locked with hazel. The twinkle was still there. As Remus stepped back, Sirius wordlessly turned to the mirror and looked closely at the mark on his neck. Then he turned back to Remus, smiling. "We may have to glamour this as well."

Remus was about to reply when there was a thud and yell from the dorm: "Are you two done discussing Sirius's skin yet?"

---

_A/N: I tried to put in some slash. I'm not so good at it… which is a shame as I'm planning a lemon for this fic later. Who wants a lemon? _

_Note: I'm now branching out into fanart! It will be appearing on my new LiveJournal soon. The link is in my profile. If anyone wants to see it, review or PM or something so I know whether it's worth putting it on there or not._


	7. Mission Fruitloop

**Mission Fruitloop**

_Disclaimer: The main characters belong to JK Rowling (at least, their names do), but the setting, plot and some other characters are mine._

_A/N: Well here it is; I'm back at last. I sincerely apologise for my absence, and hope that you haven't all lost interest. Oh yeah, and the fic's now outgrown the summary, as it was originally going to be just a oneshot, so the summary is likely to change when I post chapter 8._

_This chapter is dedicated to Xandi (aka Xandria Nirvana) for encouraging me to write, and for giving me the title idea._

_----_

"Are you two done discussing Sirius's skin yet?"

Sirius and Remus locked eyes and tried not to laugh. At length, Sirius put one hand over his face and went to the door, unlocking it rapidly and poking his head out. "Shut up, Jamie! It's wearing off; it looks terrible!"

"Melodramatic," Remus heard James say as Sirius shut the door again, smirking and dropping his hand from his still-glamoured cheek.

"He has a point, even though I know you're faking this time."

Sirius looked affronted. "Me, melodramatic?"

Remus smiled, leaning back against the basin. "I didn't say it was a bad thing, did I? Besides, he is too. You and he are a class act."

"That might explain why he hasn't used it to figure out that I'm not exactly a straight manly man…" Sirius remarked reflectively. Then his eyes lit up. "That's it! Clue number one for our fellow Marauders."

"Do I want to hear this? I know that look."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius sat down cross-legged on the floor. "Chill, Moony. All you have to do is act a bit more like I do. And I'll just be… Sirius to the extreme, let's say."

"Tell me more," Remus answered suspiciously, joining him on the floor.

"Oh come on, think about it. What would hint to Prongs and Wormtail that we swing the other way?"

"Sirius, no, I am not wearing makeup."

"Oh yes you are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Not."

"Are. Oh damn."

Sirius grinned. "I win. We have to work out what your colours are, then I'll look through what I've got."

Remus sighed in defeat. "Okay, fine. But what about you? How do you propose to be 'Sirius to the extreme'?"

"Easy! All I have to do is talk camp, act more tactile, and take even more care in my appearance."

Leaning back on his hands, Remus allowed himself a smile as he joked: "You'll love that, won't you?"

"Damn right I will!" Sirius clapped his hands together, grinning. "This is going to be so much fun…"

His enthusiasm was beginning to catch on; Remus found himself already a little less reluctant as he watched Sirius's look of absolute glee. "Will you be showing that off?" He indicated the mark on Sirius's neck.

"What?" Sirius looked blank for a moment before a look of dawning comprehension took over. "Somehow I don't think so. Sexual ambiguity may be a valuable part of the plan, but I think showing off this baby might make it a little _too _obvious."

"True." Remus stood up slowly, extending a hand to help Sirius up too. "Hold on a second." He quickly conjured a small tube and took off the cap, before looking up to find Sirius watching him with one eyebrow raised suggestively.

"Why Monsieur Moony, I had no idea you were so forward!"

"God, Sirius, is that all you ever think about?" He waved the tube so Sirius could read the label. "It's magical foundation, okay? It's better than a glamour because it stays on for as long as you need it without sapping energy." He squeezed some onto his fingers, stepped forward and removed the glamour with a flick of his wand, which was held in his other hand. That done, he covered the cat-scratches and the red mark with the foundation, gently rubbing it in. "There. Check in the mirror."

Sirius turned to inspect himself in the mirror as instructed, and raised his eyebrows with a smile. "Moons, I'm impressed; no one'll even guess there's anything there!"

"Good." Remus handed him the tube. "Now I know you'd be prepared to stay in here all night 'working out what my colours are', but _I_ need my sleep, so I'd rather go to bed." He bent down to pick up his pyjamas, then straightened up. For a moment, neither of them moved. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"I'd like to get changed?"

"So?"

Remus rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's utter lack of propriety. "That means you should leave the room."

"But –"

"No buts." He folded his arms across his chest and stifled a smile as he looked sternly at the other boy. "Padfoot, basket."

The animagus pouted briefly, but relented, glancing at his reflection one last time before turning to go.

"What, no goodnight kiss?"

Turning back, Sirius tilted his head to one side. "You use the whole canine imagery thing, then ask for a kiss? And you claim _I_'m weird." But he still closed the gap between them to comply with the request. Seconds later, as he walked out the door, he added in an undertone: "Mission Fruitloop begins tomorrow."

Left alone in the bathroom, Remus frowned with a mild sense of foreboding. Mission Fruitloop?

----

When he woke up on Monday, Remus found that for once, he was not the first to be up. Granted, Peter was still a bump under the blankets, but James was crouched at the end of his bed, rifling in his trunk, and Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

"Morning Prongs," Remus said at last, yawning as he sat up, throwing his blankets off of himself.

"Morning," James replied, in a voice that sounded slightly more subdued than usual.

"You okay?" Remus enquired, getting up and starting to pull clothes out of his own trunk.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired. It was a late night." James yawned, as if to prove his point. "But at least I'm not as bad as Wormtail."

Remus glanced at the clock by his bed, then over at the snoring heap that was their friend. "We'll have to wake him up soon, or he'll miss breakfast."

There was a vague sound of agreement from James, only slightly less coherent than usual for a Monday morning. "By the way, when Pads is done in the bathroom, it's all yours; I've already showered."

"Do I hear my name being taken in vain?" Sirius's head suddenly appeared round the bathroom door. He grinned at James and winked surreptitiously at Remus, before emerging completely from the bathroom, and making a sweeping gesture towards it with one hand. "La salle de bain is now vacant, Monsieur Moony. Hurry up in there; I need to finish getting ready."

"Certainly, my dear, vain friend," Remus answered dryly, walking over to the door and disappearing into the aforementioned 'salle'. True to his word, he was showered and dressed within about ten minutes, and promptly opened the door to readmit an impatient Sirius. "There, I didn't separate you from your beloved beauty products for too long."

"And for that I thank you." Sirius whipped a comb out of his wash bag and started running it through his hair, teasing a few strands around his face, making sure it was all utterly smooth. As he worked, looking totally absorbed, he started singing.

It was a Muggle song; Remus recognised it from the chorus, and he had to inwardly congratulate Sirius on making such a perfect choice for Mission Fruitloop: _Lady Marmalade. _

When James came in to brush his hair (pointless, but he still had to put in a token effort to tame it), Sirius was applying silver eyeliner and loudly singing the distinctive 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi'. Remus was brushing his teeth as slowly as he could, just so he could stay in the bathroom and gauge James's reaction. To his slight relief, there didn't seem to be one. Though he had agreed to Sirius's idea, he was still a little afraid of what their other friends might think.

At length, Sirius threw his wash bag back into the bathroom cabinet, grabbed Remus by the hand, and dragged him to the door, turning at the last minute to address James. "We're going to go to breakfast; you coming?"

"Nah, I'll wait for Wormtail, you guys go ahead." James was frowning at his reflection, trying in vain to flatten his hair.

Leading Remus across the dormitory, Sirius sighed heavily. "You know," he muttered, "I reckon I could throw you down on the breakfast table, take you there and then, in front of everybody, and they still wouldn't guess."

Remus could see the melodramatics threatening to kick off again. "Oh come on, it's early days. James wasn't even fully conscious yet!" He squeezed Sirius's hand reassuringly. "Where would the fun be if this was over quickly?"

"You're right," Sirius sighed as they descended the stairs to the empty common room. "As always." Then he grinned wickedly. "After all, I haven't even got you in makeup yet!" Flicking his hair out of his eyes, he looked thoughtful. "And you need some better clothes."

"Sirius, I'm not made of mon –"

True to form, Sirius ignored his protest and kept talking. "When's the next Hogsmeade trip?"

"Next weekend."

"Fabulous. We'll track you down some proper clothes and some makeup while we're there." Sirius stopped walking suddenly and turned Remus to face him. "I'm thinking gold eyeliner might work on you. What do you reckon?"

Reluctantly, Remus shrugged. "I don't know."

"Oh, you're a great help," Sirius told him sarcastically. "Oh well, never mind, we've got all week to plan what we need to get."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Sirius beamed at him. "There are very few things I would enjoy more. Most involve you, just so you know."

Remus raised an eyebrow, not entirely displeased by the information. "Tell me more."

"Well, now I've actually said it, that idea about throwing you down on the breakfast table does rather appeal to me."

"Dirty." But Remus couldn't help smiling as they resumed walking, still hand in hand. "Still, I can't say I completely disagree… though I could do without the detention that would get us into."

"Detention with you, alone?" Sirius winked suggestively. "I think I could handle that."

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"What's that mean?"

Remus laughed. "It means that I have no way of controlling your dirty mind, or anything else about you, or changing anything about you."

"Good." Sirius let go of his hand to snake an arm around his waist. "I know you wouldn't have me any other way."

"That's probably true," Remus admitted, letting Sirius's arm draw him in closer. "Life would definitely be a lot more tedious without your influence."

"Damn straight," Sirius grinned. "I bet even McGonagall thinks that about me; she just won't say so."

He kept hold of Remus most of the way to breakfast, only releasing him when they began to see other people converging from the various corners of the school, heading for the Great Hall. A minute or two later, they found seats at the rapidly filling Gryffindor table, saving space for James and Peter, and began eating.

"Good morning Remus." A female voice spoke just beside him a few minutes later, and he turned to see Lily Evans, friendly smile and Prefect badge both gleaming in the spring sunlight that streamed from the enchanted ceiling.

"Hey Lily," he replied, smiling back, ignoring the tangible hostility radiating from where Sirius sat on his other side.

"I… um… I kind of wanted to say sorry about the cat thing," she added at last, looking at the floor as if it held the meaning of life.

"Not my issue." Remus held up both hands and shook his head slightly. "It wasn't me that got holes in my face."

Lily visibly steeled herself before lifting her gaze to the boy concerned. "Black? I'm sorry my cat attacked you."

Sirius was clearly taking the opportunity to practice his pout for Mission Fruitloop as he glared at her for a few seconds before relenting, waving one hand casually in the air and answering: "Yeah, okay."

With an expression of relief, Lily was about to go and join her friends further down the table when she stopped briefly next to Sirius, leaned down slightly, and muttered: "Nice eyeliner, by the way." And she walked off.

Swallowing a mouthful of cereal, Remus watched her leave, a concerned expression beginning to form on his face. "We may have a problem there. What if she works it out before James and Peter do?"

"Works out what before we do?"

----

_A/N: Et voila. This chapter took me so long to finish. I hope it worked out okay. Please review, as I really need the boost to make me keep writing. I mean of course I'll carry on with this, but how fast I do that is debatable. Thanks for reading!_

_CSF_


	8. Bridges

**Bridges**

_Disclaimer: Characters are JKR's; plot is mine._

_A/N: Here you have it, chapter 8, and without too large a delay. Enjoy._

_----_

"Works out what before we do?" James asked curiously, flopping down into the seat opposite Sirius. Peter sat down next to him, still looking half-asleep.

"Um…" Remus was at a loss for words, not something that happened to him too often.

"Classified information, I'm afraid Prongs," Sirius cut in smoothly, giving Remus a surreptitious nudge under the table. "If we told you, we'd have to kill you."

Remus' previous comment about melodramatics in their group came to life as James pulled a face and said rather loudly: "Tell meeeee…"

"Can't do that. Sorry." Sirius picked up a fork and began nonchalantly eating a small pile of pancakes, ignoring James' continued whining.

"Padfoot! What is it? You tell me everything! Why won't you tell me what it is? Tell me!"

"James, act your age, for god's sake," Remus growled moments later. He didn't usually object too much to the other boy's three-year-old-style antics, but with werewolf hearing, there was only so much he could take of that high-pitched whinging.

But James didn't stop, and it went on all day.

"Prongs, pass me that quill please."

"Only if you tell me what you and Moony were talking about before."

And then:

"Peter, I'm going to try that hex now. Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Then can you tell me what that thing was?"

Not forgetting:

"James, could you stir the potion while I slice these caterpillars?"

"Only if you tell me what you and Pads are trying to keep secret from us."

And on and on, in every single lesson. It was taking quite an effort for Remus and Sirius to keep quiet, as they couldn't afford to even give a hint until they had come up with a fake secret.

When they left the Transfiguration classroom at the end of the day, Sirius didn't even wait around for the inevitable questioning. Instead, he grabbed Remus' hand and they ran for it, sprinting to get away before McGonagall could emerge from the classroom and demand that they stop running in a busy corridor.

"Has James got the map with him?" Remus gasped as they finally took refuge in an empty classroom on the third floor, several minutes and much running later.

Sirius shook his head, dark hair falling in his eyes as he sat down on a desk. "Nah, he said he left it in the dorm, since we hadn't got any pranking planned for today."

Remus was silent, and when Sirius looked at him, his eyes were sparkling, underlined by a growing smile. "…I think I may have an idea for a not-so-fake secret."

"What? Tell."

"Well, James would be pretty hacked off if it turned out to be something trivial, right?"

Sirius nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. He was right; I do tell him pretty much everything. Aside from the stuff about liking you, or being with you."

"Okay. Now think about it: what things does he view as being important enough to break that sort of habit for?"

Swinging his legs up onto the desk to sit with them crossed under himself, Sirius crinkled his nose in thought for a moment. "Evans."

"Apart from Evans. What about one of the main things she hates about him?"

"What, pranking?"

Remus leaned against the wall, arms folded, smiling even more now. "Precisely. We could be planning a prank, just the two of us. And do you know what's even better?"

"We can actually do the prank, and make Snivelly look stupid in the process?"

Ignoring the derogatory nickname for once, Remus shook his head slightly. "Not exactly. I'm thinking that we can make it something related to Mission… Fruitloop."

"How so?" Sirius leaned forward with interest, and nearly fell off the desk.

Remus bit his lip to avoid laughing, as he knew Sirius would take offence at him finding something amusing in the mishap. "We could use this to work out James and Peter's attitude towards what we are."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just say it! It's like the way no one says Voldemort's name; it's ridiculous if you can't bring yourself to say it."

"Okay, okay, we can find out what they think about people being gay. And this will be useful since _we _are gay. Happy now?"

"Delirious. Now how can we do that?"

Remus narrowed his eyes, concentrating. "Just a basic idea, but how about something that'll pair up two guys we don't like?"

Sirius clapped his hands gleefully. "Snapey!"

With a sigh, Remus conceded. "Okay, Snape. Who else?"

Sirius' eyes lit up. "What about that skinny blond git he hangs around with? You know, the one who blew something up in Potions a couple of weeks ago. Starts with R."

"You mean the time the blue stuff hit Peter in the face and cress started growing out of his nose? Evan Rosier." Remus shot him a mildly reproachful look. "I can't believe you still get such a kick out of the idea of attacking Slytherins. We're in the first year of NEWTs; we're supposed to be mature by now."

Sirius shrugged. "My inner child is very persuasive."

"You mean it's your inner child that controls you?" Remus pulled a face of mock disgust. "That's one _dirty _child!"

Laughing, Sirius extended one arm and swatted at him, missing by several feet but not really caring. "Shush. I was just getting into a good mood with you! Are you sure you want to wreck that?"

Remus smiled back angelically. "Are _you _sure you want to end up doing this prank by yourself?"

After thinking about it briefly, Sirius shook his head vigorously. "Hell no. I wouldn't even know what to use."

"Good boy, Paddie." Walking over, Remus resisted the urge to ruffle his hair, as that would surely bring on a minor hissy fit, and settled for kissing him on the forehead. Then as he moved back, he was startled to find a huge black dog lying there on the desk, looking at him appealingly and wagging its tail.

He still hadn't quite got used to that. Fortunately, Sirius was the only Marauder with a penchant for transforming at random moments. Waking up to find a dog licking his face was something Remus could just about handle, but finding a stag or a rat doing the same would have been a little too weird. "Sirius, must you do that?"

A split second later, Sirius was back, still wearing the same cute expression. "Sorry. But I can't wag my tail as myself. I needed to be Padfoot to express my tail-wagging feelings."

Remus shook his head fondly. "You're nuts."

"Guilty as charged." Sirius grinned up at him. "But you know you love me."

"Yes, for some strange reason, I do."

"The reason, my darling Moony, is that you're nuts too," Sirius explained with total conviction. "Now, we are alone in an empty room. I'm not entirely sure how we have kept our self-control for the…" – he glanced at his watch – "…ten minutes we've been in here. Since last night I've been thinking about how tempting it'd be to give you a reason to use some of that magical foundation yourself."

"Oh really? So _that's _why you weren't paying attention in any of our classes today," Remus teased, but over his shoulder he was pointing his wand at the door, wordlessly casting a locking charm.

"Not entirely," Sirius defended, shifting over on the desk so that Remus could sit down next to him. "In Transfiguration I was thinking about how nice your hair looked."

"Really? Well, at least that means there's one thing you won't have to change to make me look hot for Mission Fruitloop."

"Hey!" Sirius reached out and put his hand on Remus' knee, leaning slightly closer. "You look hot anyway. I don't _have_ to change anything about you." He smiled sweetly. "I just have sick fantasies."

Remus shrugged. "I won't argue with that. Now shut up and kiss me."

For once, Sirius did as he was told, sliding an arm around Remus' waist to pull him closer. But their lips had only been touching for seconds when Sirius started laughing.

Remus pulled away indignantly. "What? What is it?" he demanded, just a little offended.

Eyes lowered, Sirius tried to stop, managing successfully to avoid full-blown laughter and tone it down to more of a mirthful snuffling. "I'm sorry… I was just thinking about how funny it'll be when Snivellus and Rosier start acting all romantic in front of everyone…" He took several deep breaths in an attempt to avert hysteria.

"You're such a child sometimes." Remus' voice was colder now, laced with frustration. "Can't you be serious for _five_ minutes?" Before the other boy even had a chance to respond, he held up a hand and added: "And don't you even _think _about making that joke!" Sighing angrily, he stood up and walked towards the door, stopping when he was almost there and turning to deliver the final words. "This whole secret is meant to be about _us_, anyway. I can take a joke, but now it's just another one of those pranks that have always made you closest to James in this group."

It took him a moment or two to take his wand from his robes so that he could undo the locking charm, and in that time, Sirius had crossed the space between them. When Remus touched the door handle, he found another hand over his own, and stopped, letting out another sigh. Instead of sounding angry, this one was regretful and weary.

"I'm sorry," Sirius murmured, close to his ear. "This is still about us, you know."

Remus turned to face him, hazel eyes tired and mildly hurt. "But it's not. I've never been that into the whole pranking thing, and you know that. James is your partner in all of that, not me. And now it's making me think – what are you going to do if he hates the idea of us?" He blinked hard, keeping his voice and his eyes steady. "You need him too much to tell him you don't care what he thinks. If you have to choose…"

"Remus…"

"It's okay, I understand. You and he have always been like that." He held up one hand with his fingers crossed, fighting to keep it from shaking. "I can't make you give that up."

"I –"

"Really, it's okay."

"Shit, Remus, will you listen to me already?" Sirius placed one hand under Remus' chin and made the brunet look at him. "Why are you trying to push me off a bridge we haven't even got to yet?" He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "If James cares about me at all, he'll never make me choose. And I'd never give you up anyway." He moved his hand to gently cradle Remus' face. "I know I'm acting stupid; I just didn't realise it bothered you so much. But you know I hate Snape. He was such a bastard to you when he found out about you being a werewolf, and the stupid side of me still hasn't finished with its revenge."

"You have a lot of sides," Remus said at length, speaking softly and looking away again.

"We can't all be pure good," Sirius answered. "Look at me."

Remus raised his eyes to find a look of apology in Sirius' deep-blue gaze. "I'm sorry I got angry with you."

"I shouldn't have given you reason to." Sirius moved close and hugged him tightly.

Remus gladly returned the gesture, feeling the silky smoothness of Sirius' perfect hair on one side of his face, and smiling when he felt Sirius kiss his ear. "The others are going to want to know where we've been."

"Yeah…" Suddenly, Sirius moved back, putting a few feet of space between himself and Remus. "They could have had time to get the map."

"Damn. We'll have to nick it from James whenever we want time alone."

"We will," Sirius agreed as Remus opened the door and they cautiously stepped out into the empty corridor.

Five minutes later, they were let into Gryffindor Tower by the Fat Lady, and found James and Peter sitting in the Marauders' usual space near the fire. Sure enough, James was holding the map, but his first question gave away how long he had been looking at it for. "Where the hell did you two get to?"

----

_A/N: I don't know where this ending came from; I think I just couldn't bring myself to write slash. Please review; I've had a lousy day, what with crying over an old friend, then a death in the family, then my sister patronising me… Cheer me up!_

_Note: If you like non-magic, if you like long stories, if you like Sirius/Remus… send me a message with 'DoI' in it to find out more about the upcoming fic, Degrees Of Involvement!_


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